Professional Relationships

Being best friends with the boss.*

There is great value in being able to start at the bottom and work your way up through the ranks to become the one in charge of everyone and everything.

Without doubt, a person who has earned this right has also developed a deeper understanding of what makes the company tick.

What isn’t so easy for many is the shift from being one of the guys or gals to being their boss — especially when hard choices need to be made.

I suppose this is where Fogy should highlight his own experience as an example of this level of difficulty… except that Fogy’s “experience” is mostly as an observer. My work-life and responsibilities have always been played out at a professional level where work is work, and personal friendships are kept apart.

For many, however, moving up from the production line — be it a factory or an office — means a whole different level of behaviour. Where once it was okay to slack off for an hour or two, being the boss and seeing someone else doing exactly the same thing means steps have to be taken and discipline put in place.

And here lies the deepest of chasms to climb out of: those who once skived off certain tasks with you suddenly find themselves paying the price for your past misdeeds.

Oh, the treachery! The disbelief! Having to tolerate this big-headed, obnoxious wannabe who is now their boss. How could such a swell “guy” turn out this way?

Fogy learned early on he could not be everybody’s friend — that there must be a level of professionalism separating all of us, at every level. Let’s face it — we are not brought together because we want to be friends, but because our skills match the requirements of the positions we hold. Friendship is a consequence, not an obligation. (First rant!!)

Next comes the question of where our responsibilities actually lie. As a junior manager, we are responsible for making the manager and the bosses above us look good.

Oops — is that really true? Maybe not exactly… but for many, that’s what it comes down to.

If you’re given this level of responsibility, it should be because you’ve demonstrated a certain skillset that suggests you should be groomed for better things. Or at least, that’s how it’s supposed to work — in theory.

Unfortunately, not everyone is promoted fairly. And those who are often don’t get the training they need to be effective. It’s like being thrown into the arena with a pride of lions and told, “Survive this, and you’ll be promoted to a bigger arena… with bigger lions.”

More than that, it’s the trust shift — from being the people’s person to becoming the company lacky. Your speech changes. Your political acumen sharpens. Jugglers would be jealous of your ability to keep everything on an even kelter.

Step up far enough, and the isolation grows. You move away from the bees below and become a fully-fledged lacky who only understands lacky-speech. The untold reasons for certain decisions become a lexicon of undesirable understanding — swallowed eagerly by the more ambitious, but choking to the rest.

Most of you aren’t taught well enough what’s required of you. The bottom line is usually the catalyst behind personnel change, which means it is the willing sheep who are chosen to do the bidding of a ruthless corporation. (Second rant!!)

But I digress.

The truth is, the higher you climb, the less likely you are to please everyone. Many will feel left out in the cold. Survive this, and the rest is simply white slavery to a system you are less and less likely to change, no matter how hard you try. Very few have the where-with-all and determination to unsettle the status quo.

Good luck when you board this gravy-train.

Cheers.

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