My First Broken Resolution
My apologies, dear readers, for I have been forced to lead off in 2026 with all of my previous resolutions thrown haphazardly onto a bonfire of destiny.
Yes — lots of new vocabulary to start the year.
So the question on most people’s lips has to be: what does this all mean?
The answer, inconveniently, is relatively simple.
Of all the qualities the Duck possesses — there may be only one — it is that he is doing exactly what he promised.
Almost.
“We are not interested in regime change. We are not wanting to invade other nations. We are only interested in making America great again.”
The Duck repeated this refrain throughout his campaign, with the confidence of a man who believes repetition alone can pass for truth.
What we perhaps failed to read into this was the historical footnote once coined by George H. W. Bush — “Read my lips” — a phrase that promptly delivered an outcome diametrically opposed to the promise it carried. Higher taxes followed.
And yet, to be fair, the Duck has delivered on several fronts.
A continuation of tax cuts for the wealthy.
A crusade against “fake news,” now generously expanded to include global warming.
A vow to clean up a wasteful administration while lowering costs and reducing the national debt.
Two out of five, one might argue, isn’t catastrophic.
A promising DOGE became a more meaningful dodge.
“Fake news” has spread far beyond the media, finding a comfortable home in his more than worthy penmanship.
And the national debt, rather than shrinking, has continued its unwelcome ascent as dubious administrative decisions become the rule rather than the exception.
And now — the invasion of a sovereign state.
Not since the Bay of Pigs, under John F. Kennedy, has the world witnessed such an episode unfold so close to the American homeland. That ill-fated moment around Cuba also brought the Cold War’s most dangerous standoff — a reminder of how quickly bravado can stumble into catastrophe.
Are we seeing something faintly familiar now, drifting around oil tankers and strained maritime patience?
Which brings us, inevitably, to Venezuela.
The legitimacy of action taken against that nation is, at best, elastic. When Nicolás Maduro clung to power after a more than dubious election, many — myself included — felt something should be done. But a world loudly defending sovereignty while condemning Russia chose restraint over intervention, leaving the political wrong to fester.
Now, grasping for justification, drug trafficking emerges as the conveniently sufficient rationale for removal. Better late than never, some may argue. Others may note that this fits neatly alongside the ineffectual attempts to pursue James Comey and Letitia James — retribution disguised as righteousness.
Let us be honest.
Much of what the Duck does is less about policy and more about erasure. An absolute need to discredit the president who came before him — Barack Obama — and to wipe his imprint clean from memory, record, and myth.
The last throes of Obamacare fade quietly.
The capture of Osama bin Laden is re-imagined, overshadowed, replaced.
A Nobel Peace Prize is rebadged into something more fitting — a FIFA-style award, handed out by grateful 'Soccer' administrators.
The progress once made toward planetary stewardship, global stability, and cooperative order — ably supported, we are reminded, by “the black man” — has been dismantled piece by piece.
All of this unfolds beneath the banner of a newly arisen empire, preparing to rule the planet — if not into greatness, then certainly into exhaustion — while its mighty Duck grows ever richer.
It will not take long before the most powerful Duck on the planet becomes the richest as well.
And as we all know:
Wealth breeds power.
Power breeds wealth.
And so we stand at the edge of a reordered world, not forged through grand design or ideological clarity, but assembled opportunistically — deal by deal, grudge by grudge.
No manifesto.
No doctrine.
Just momentum.
This empire in decline has taken center stage once more around a concoction neatly mirroring a certain regime of the 1930s.
And, as in both cases, this was chosen by a people, blinded by the hypnotic effect of a bombastic bully.
Cheers.
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