Friday, 11 April 2025

Controlling your Own Destiny

Naively, I sat down believing that the world is the same for all of us.*

Clearly, this cannot be true. When regimes and despots impose their beliefs, religion, and laws upon those who once believed in them, it is the people who carry the burden of suffering as change is forced upon them.

More often than not, they have no control over their own destinies—whether through oppression, victimization, or basic slavery. Shackled to whatever evil surrounds them, there is literally no escape.

I can, however, speak about those born, raised, and living in relative freedom.

The dream that prevails is as old as time itself: to grow and develop, to own your own home, to gain access to the latest fashions and facilities, to have offspring that carry your heritage even after you're gone—and of course, to become rich. But is that all there is?

Well, no. You don’t have to religiously follow that prescribed path. Nothing is forever. That career that once seemed ideal might simply be the wrong-fitting glove (ask O.J). That relationship built with great promise might crumble under the weight of misfortune.

So what should you do?

The decisions you make today do not have to define your life forever. They’re just moments—choices made when certain stars aligned and made the path seem inevitable. But looking back, they may feel more like a slip of the mental tongue, and the promised future may have vanished without a trace.

Take control of your destiny by recognizing when things have reached an impasse—when the future needs to take a different path.

That career, or even just the job you’re in, doesn’t have to be forever. You’ve learned valuable life lessons from that experience. They don’t disappear—they travel with you, aggregating with future experiences, helping piece together the ever-evolving jigsaw puzzle of life.

Personal relationships face similar challenges. When one partner is forced through trials the other can't share, differences will eventually rear their ugly heads. And when those differences become too great, maturity demands a hard truth: sometimes change is necessary for the good of both.

But the greatest fear of all... is fear itself. Fear of the unknown. Maybe that’s why babies cry when they’re born. Sure, they’re getting their second wind after being ejected from the placenta, but that new unfamiliar world must also be a terrifying place.

There’s no point waiting for the company to decide whether you’re still “needed.” Be proactive. Understand your own goals and objectives—because let’s face it, they are far more important than any company’s. You are disposable. You can be dumped like industrial waste the moment you no longer fit the plan.

If your relationship is souring and you see no path forward, make sure you have an exit strategy. Get the support you need, and never be afraid to use it.

If an opportunity appears—something completely different, in a place that feels alien—give it a shot. The worst that can happen? You gain more life experience. Much more than you'd have by staying still and wondering what if.

I was born in New Zealand. I trained as a chef. Since then, I’ve 'Chefed' in Restaurants, Hotels, Clubs - worked in gardens, led maintenance teams, cooked in medieval castles, crossed seas to Scotland and now Brazil, where I teach English, develop systems, write blogs—and continue to expand my learning potential exponentially.

You can too. And how does this old Fogy know?

Because I’ve been there. Done that, and I’m still not done.

Cheers.

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