When Not Letting Go Can Really Get You Down.*
Humans are a vengeful lot, constantly seeking repayment for some conscious or unconscious slight.
And that's where the problem lies. We tend to ruminate and suffer over the silliest affronts, twisting and torturing our very insides. This is how stress gnaws at us, how illness can creep in with no clear cause.
This is how wars start, nations topple, and worlds are decimated.
This is how families fracture across continents.
This is how business empires are crushed.
Sowing seeds of dissent and creating unforgettable slights—these meaningless distractions are what tear seemingly solid relationships apart. It’s the ethos of entertainment that sells big at the box office.
This is not for the weak of heart—and is totally unnecessary.
Think about how bad you feel when something goes unexpectedly wrong and you know sabotage was involved. The thought of retaliation wells up into an uncontrollable red mist.
An immediate response follows, and suddenly, everything you’ve worked for is thrust into the garbage disposal. You’re left with what? Unforgettable shame, loss, regret. All for what?
And that is where the power of forgetting becomes so important.
‘An eye for an eye’ guarantees vengeance. Turning the other cheek and preaching forgiveness are hard lessons to learn and harder to live by.
But life is too short to waste seeking vengeance for every misstep.
The power of forgetting isn’t really about forgiveness. It’s about noting what happened, how it happened, who made it happen—and making sure it doesn’t happen again.
And it is this last one that is the hardest to control.
A young child learns and practices the art of temptation and testing tolerances—a lifelong pattern that can either shorten or extend one’s time on this earth.
If left unchecked, anarchy can well up and conquer. Controlling this, without falling into vengeance, is extremely hard to do.
Some acts must be punished—not out of vengeance, but with clear, unbiased boundaries set around those who transgressed.
Noting what happened—and by whom—isn’t truly forgetting. It’s the practiced art of turning tragedy into a lesson, not a reason for revenge.
Having learned the circumstances, now is the time to distance yourself from recurrence. If possible, plan for better outcomes rather than revenge. Dig deep into your emotional reserves, and turn a potentially life-altering event into wisdom.
“In the end, it’s not about letting go of what happened, but letting go of the urge to retaliate.”

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